Night
... - sleep and dream – these words were
said in a whisper once again ... I do not know today whether consciously or
already in a dream. This moment always happens barely grasped for me.
... it’s dark and quiet, not even a moth of any kind. A dormant landscape,
outside the window and in the room, and yet it wasn't so long ago that various
shadows roamed the walls here, as if they themselves moved, lived and
co-created this space. Now there is neither one nor the other. Is life
extinguished, is this to be the end of this world and everything?.… of every
single thing?
My arm embraced my beloved, my hand rested on one of her breasts. Their bodies clung to each other, the legs intertwined, the body swells and roundnesses blended into one and created a whole now, full of different shades. Heat and energies, they now traveled in both directions, complementing each other. Their breaths have spoken, steady and quiet, saying that in a moment they would separate, otherwise they would burn....
Yearning and nostalgia for this moment was always present in me,… a moment of trust, connection and devotion. Yes… it was anticipated, he and she as one… the mystery of unity beyond understanding....
But the laws of nature are inexorable, and I don't know if I've been here yet for some time or... if not here, then where? Whether what is happening is waking or dreaming, is it a real of just a dream vision?
Somewhere I was wandering, not for
the first time... off-road, cross-country, through wilderness, on mountain
slopes, breaking through thickets, finding passages, forest paths...
Well, yes, but which one of the numberless wanderings is this one, when all my life has been an endless journey? After all, I don't have a home of my own, as my home consists of all the ones I've been to so far, of my loved ones, relatives, my beloved woman, friends, people I've met along the way, and also this world - as a whole - is my home...
In the whirlwind of events along the way, fate, desires, longings, I found myself here, in a place that became close to me, where I wanted to build a new reality and future with my beloved.
But... maybe this chance won't be given to me, maybe... I'm waiting to wander further. Somewhere else... but where... why... I don't understand it, after all, everything is going well. I am comfortable here, I feel fulfilled.
Will it be a must to leave it all, to give up what is already there, what is beautiful, full of conscious understanding?
Isn't this their will, of these two, isn't this their decision that they both have become aware of....
Will they differ, divide, and soon their language
too, followed by their imaginations....
Strange thoughts, strange
plots of dreamy images are now born in my mind. I don't know what else awaits
me... the eternal journey that is life sometimes brings challenges that we
would never expect. We build the present and, at some point, it comes and says,
leave everything and come on, because something else is being prepared for
you.
Wait a moment, wait, is it possible to do this and... at such a moment, leave the beloved and everything else and walk away..., what a strange dream, the dream of words of thought, although full of images from the past. They are now tangling up, losing the chronology of events.
Midnight has passed, the stars are twinkling in the sky, forming constellations of various kinds. They’re communicating with each other. Their activity also affects those two, down there, somewhere at the end of the world, who by now are probably asleep and have stopped dreaming....
Where are they now? Their bodies are lying side by side, motionless, at peace, breathing steadily, so where are they now?.… how much mysterious is this moment. Can it be guessed? Or maybe they are in a realm, where both - everything that exists and nothing - is contained... Do they reach the sources of the beginning, only to return with the advent of a new, next day? So many unknowns…
Now they are asleep, unable to hear, so I can weave
my tale about them further.
Entangled earlier in the
meanders of a life, that lasted many, many years, until... they met and noticed
each other. Burdened by a past, that had left its mark on each of them, they
fell in love with each other, passionately, igniting a great flame of feeling
that started to weave a new reality for them. It's not about describing their
fate day by day, but I think it's worth paying attention to at least a few
details that they implemented together.
It all started in the mountains. He had a carpentry shop and when she came there, without knowing him, he made a bench for her, which she kindly requested. Then she would look in on him every day, to see what was the stage of the construction made at her request. She would sit, on the still unfinished bench, and checked its friendliness for herself. Such were the beginnings. From the information they shared at that time, they assumed that they could have met many, many years earlier, and their paths led to the Bieszczady Mountains, where they stayed in then, in those days. However, the fate did not make them able to consciously notice each other, in the beginning.
The third meeting took place much later. He returned to the big city, where she lived, and they began to meet again, but the longing for open space, for living nature, hiking, animals, vegetation of all kinds, almost every week, regardless of the season and weather, would drow them into the world of mountain space, to wade through the bushes, find roads, passages and paths of forest animals.
They climbed, going up and down, reaching mysterious places, discovering known and unknown forms, so beautiful and captivating, carved by nature, which gifted them with abundance of these experiences, as it has infinite possibilities in itself. They reveled in this wealth at almost every step. The vistas stretched before them to the horizon, with sunrises and sunsets, ranges of ridges, ravines, gorges, forests of various sorts, streams by which they sometimes knelt and kissed the water's surface, to quench their thirst.
They kept walking forward, always forward, and in moments of elation and delight, their eyes and hands met each other, without saying a word. Life sculpted the uniqueness of their personalities in the sun, rain, storms with thunder all around, snow almost waist-deep, or in the frost creaking under their feet, lashing their cheeks, or finally in night crossings, and their hearts burst with joy.
So they met, spent a lot of time in each other’s company, but they wanted to finally live together, right there, in the mountains, which they loved above all else. Every trip they took was also a look around for a place that could become a haven for the rest of their lives.
A few years passed, when they finally got a word that there was a valley, and in it a house, an old house, remembering a previous era, abandoned, but habitable right away. They went to see it. They looked at each other, everything was clear. Yes, this is where they will build a new reality, but already together, a subjective reality in every sense, every detail, with a teddy bear that was waiting for them, tied on a chain, to free it. The bear came back to life when, unfastened, he regained his freedom, which was as important to him as to them. And they were filled with joy that rippled through them, at every moment of the most varied, everyday activities, building a new reality, founded on boundless love for literally everything. Such moments do not have to be idyllic, you know. That's how it was, and then this unexpected, unwanted, uninvited moment came...
What was now going on in his mind was a foreshadowing of future events, which were blurred now with the remnants of sleep, so that he would not remember when he woke up.
The night was fading, the stars were losing their intensity, the first rays of light, not yet the sun, began to peek into the window of the room where they slept.
When consciousness returns in the morning and recalls, from memory, the events recorded on the previous day and in the past, it rebuilds personalities, creating the impression of continuity, a kind of endless day, from birth to death.
He and She were just returning to the world they had left yesterday, but probably still half asleep. Having slowly found each other now, to hug, to share the emanation of energies, those independent of their will, mind, desires or reluctance, because today they were still in full coherence, not knowing what awaited them in the future.
They were now clinging to each other more and more tightly, perhaps wanting to merge into one, one organism with two souls and hearts.
More and more awakened, they slowly lost the boundaries separating them, and penetrated each other. Thus began the morning dance of their bodies and fingers wandering through the innermost body recesses not yet fully awake. Their lips met, without words.
July 2023
Author: Leszek Wieliczko
Translated by: Agnieszka Zell
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